Yesterday was a hard one

Well, yesterday was a hard one!  We are all bound to have them right?  God was gracious to me through it all - it was still just a tough day.  I'm not even completely sure why.  Olivia is doing much better (thank goodness - we think she had a bug rather than it being her heart -though we will follow up with cardiology anyway) but now Elle has gotten the bug.  Elle loves to love on her big sister so it was almost guaranteed.  Not sure why i'm surprised she got it :(.  So Danny and I are going on many days/nights with less than adequate sleep - and that always makes things worse.

We got a packet from our agency yesterday that we had to sign every page of to indicate we understand the severity of AnaLei's condition.  There were some pages in there that we had not seen.  As a mom - I just found them unsettling.  Not in ANY way that changes how we feel, now we love her or our commitment to her but rather just things that made me hurt FOR her.  I want to wrap my arms around her so badly TODAY!  I won't post it now because I would never want to put our adoption in jeopardy but can tell you that in July she was hospitalized b/c she couldn't breathe.  Her diagnosis upon admission was 1. acute respiratory failure, 2. bronchitis, 3. CHD -complex (lots of things listed here poor girl), 4. Chronic heart failure.  We had never seen the words chronic heart failure.  It tears me up inside that she is alone.   They say she is a quiet girl who keeps to herself.  I am one broken momma!  I also hurt for her for all she will endure here while we find out what is really wrong and how to fix it.  I hurt for my other 2 girls who want and need their momma by their side.  So, yesterday was hard.   I cried many tears.  Tears for my girls here and tears for the one I love but don't even know. 

Please join us in prayer for AnaLei!  She is going to need it in the days ahead.  Our adoption is moving so rapidly and I believe whole heartedly God is doing this great work.  Also, thank you for your giving financially toward our adoption!  I can't tell you what it means!  We are only about a $1000 from our matching grant!   If only it ended there.  Our remaining expenses as of now equal about $16,000.    God has been faithful and we know He will continue to be.  I hate adoptions are so expensive b/c it keeps families who might otherwise be able to open their lives, homes, and hearts to these children.  God didn't call all families to adopt, but all children certainly deserve to be in a family and call someone mom and dad.  We can't wait to hear those words from AnaLei!

Much Love,
Julie